are you serious maaan.. so .. conversation with my mom when she came home: *pushes door open, it's locked so she decides to bang it down* i open it, looking at her "why's your door locked?" "because i want it locked" "why does it have to be locked?" "i didn't say it has to be, i like it locked" "why didn't you do the dishes?" "..-_-" "do you not live in this house?" "i didn't say that" she gives me a dirty look and goes downstairs.
they call me to eat, i say no.
i come back from a walk & getting the mail, i leave theirs on the counter and their keys and go upstairs. mom: you didn't get ours? me thinking, it's right there... not even gonna fucking answer she calls me, i ask yes? "you only get your mail? where's ours huh?" "right there." shuts up for a moment. "what, why aren't you eating with us?" "i already ate." "what'd you eat?" "food." "what food?" "the hell??" "so what, you've decided never to eat with us anymore?" "nobody said that." gives me more dirty looks, she looks at my dad, back at me, dad, back at me. my dad gives me a dirty look no one says anything so i go back to my room.
i'm tired of this . stupid ass questions, stupid ass mother picking fights with me, stupid ass family . oh, conversation with father.
"where's michael?" "i don't know." "you don't know?" "no." "do you know when he left?" "no." "you don't know what time he woke up?" "...no , what the fuck why would i care?" "where he is, when he left, what he eats, you don't care right?" "why the hell... :@:@:@" father sees my signs and leaves.
LMFAO LIKE THE FUCK? he's fucking 17 turning 18 in 6 months, i think he's very capable of waking up on his own, finding food to eat, and live his own life. Like duuude.. what am i? there's nothing different about me when you guys are here or not here, i'm in this room. so you bitch at me when you're not here i'm in here. you don't say anything when you guys are here. what am i supposed to be doing ? you bitch at me if i want to go out, you bitch at me for not having money. you bitch at me for not cleaning dishes i don't eat from, folding clothes i don't wear, clean after messes that i never made. i know this is my house, but i'm always HERE, i clean HERE. i've learned after 8 years of my life, why am i cleaning this? i've learned you guys are just waiting for my 90% average in university, my job, and most importantly, my money. you know what they expect? 3 bills a month to live with them. like woah. i can't even make 3 bills a month.
i'm just so sick of this family, not even family. my mother. she wants everything to be fine, but everything can't be if you fucking disrespect my friends, always swear at me, call me mat giay, all you want is money from me, you're fucking waiting for 5 bills i don't owe you. "you better have 5 bills by august, i'm taking it from you" what the hell ? LMAO honestly . i cannn't wait to move out . when i was younger, i told them i'd live with them. they still expect that , even after i told them i don't want to anymore. things change , mommy and daddy . i changed. i'm not 6 anymore . you yourself know i'm too mature for my age, i'm supposed to be enjoying highschool, the last years of a teenager, not working 11 hours a day to pay for stuff i don't use. EVERYTHING you've asked for , for the past 8 years, i've given you. EVERYTHING you need, EVERYTHING you want, EVERYTHING . you want me to be this way, i'm that way. you want me to do this, i did it . now that i'm old enough to make my own choices, and take care of myself since i fucking make the money i use, you hate it .
sorry , but i can't be 6 again . i've seen you through, i'm supposed to have a family to turn to . i'm supposed to only love family. i'm supposed to put family first. I FUCKING HAVE, is this what i get in return ? i want to ink your fucking names , would it be worth it ? i can't talk to any of you. is it love, or obligated feelings? hahaha.. all i'm feeling now is.. neglect, pressured, torment. funny. exact feelings i felt 3 years ago . do you remember that? i scarred myself, i cried everyday, did you notice? no . do you notice now? ..of course not . : )