this isn't how it's supposed to be. i'm not the one who's supposed to be hurt. i'm not supposed to be the one chasing you. i'm not supposed to be the only one trying to make things happen, fix things, take the initiative. it's not me. i didn't go through the most important thing in my life just for this, i deserve more. i've taught myself so much more. this is how it's going to be. i'm going to continue doing me. you continue doing you. you continue doing you. you continue doing you. we'll all live our seperate lives, and if you want part of my life, work the fuck for it. i'm sick and tired of letting people in, helping them out, and .. and what michele? and the people are still hurt, and me along with it. it's not how it's supposed to be. i don't know. does anyone ever know anything? i vowed myself to be on the road of happiness. definitely not where i'm headed right now. clenching strength in my hands, trying to believe in the word, and it's slipping, slowly, away from my grasp. it's far, it's hard, it's gone. the people who said they're always here for me. no. you're not. you're only there when i show all the symptoms of a breakdown, and that's when you're too late. the pain has already been done.